dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
