But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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