also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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