hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
