I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We left an ass print on the piano.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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