Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
where does the pee come out of this thing
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
