is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
