i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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