just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize