I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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