Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
