would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
