he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
