....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize