you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
there was a trapeze. enough said
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
