capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
