im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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