Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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