Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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