I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize