Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
