"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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