Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
