I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
