great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
