He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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