Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
