I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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