she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
