Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
