I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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