Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
