How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
