I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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