He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
