she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
