I wish my penis had an off switch
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
