Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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