I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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