you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
