remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
