Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.