how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
