My first STD was from a foam party
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
