Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
