woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
