Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
