shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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