Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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