He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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