Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
