they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
