Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Found your dick twin last night
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
