Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
