with your own penis?
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize