Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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