i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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