Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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