I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize