am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
