Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We have started to decorate penises.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
