i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!