even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.