Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
