Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges