He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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