The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"