What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left