Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.