Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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