Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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