I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
