Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
