seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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