we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize