I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
