pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
