So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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